Let me start then!

What happened before the big bang?
Oh man I am anxious.

There was the lesser known and less documented Little Bang!  (This is just a theory by the way).  Little Bang was  an Indian warrior who lived in the plains of northern Kansas.  His father Farting Snake Who Chases Rabbits  had just discovered lima beans and was trying to get someone to taste them when Little Bang, then known as Bangless Bear stepped up to try a bowl. His twin sister Bangless Beaver thought her brother was so strong and brave. It was nearing sundown and Bangless Bear had retired to his tepee complaining of an upset stomache while Farting Snake Who Chases Rabbits paced nearby hopeing the beans would not be posionous and kill his son.  Soon there erupted a series noises from the tepee that sounded something like Pffffzztsss.....pop!  Then a huge sigh of relief from within follwed by a series of smaller bangs through out the night.  The next morning Bangless Bear burst from his tent holding his nose and wretching while anyone within a 25'diameter was felled by an over powering stench like no Indian had ever smelled before or since.  Farting Snake Who Chases Rabbits was so glad his son had survived, embraced him and declared that day an Indian holiday afterward known as Little Bang Day!  And he also declared that from now on his son should be called Little Bang.  His sister Bangless Beaver who turned out to be a notorious slut and Indian madam later changed her name  too to Beaver Who........well, that's another story.  Just ask Monty.

OMG Monty! You are so very wise..........might be a Demi-God. Perhaps we should build a shrine & worship you! 

Hey glad to see you back and posting Mighty Man!  Hope things are better for you now.  I know you have had some tough times.  But the only way to go is up.  You have a lot of friends here on Tnet that respect you a lot.  LOL... I mis-typed friends and put fiends and went back and fixed it.  Yes you have many fiends here on Tnet!      Monty